Posted by: toddzilla | December 24, 2007

A.D.I.D.A.B.

Back in the di-zay…I’m talking fifth or sixth grade…whenever somebody sported some Adidas gear, they might be subjected to the ol’ “All Day I Dream About Sex” bit from the more cynically gifted amongst the student body.  Myself, well, I wasn’t astute enough to pull that ol’ chestnut off.  I just assumed that they enjoyed the podiatric comforts of German-engineered footwear.  Much like I always enjoyed underwear, fresh and warm from the clothes dryer.  But I digress…Why A.D.I.D.A.B. for a title (which is a pain to type by the way)?  Well, I think my child is very much like her father.  When she sleeps, she dreams and those dreams culminate in facial expressions that give her thoughts away.  So, she is like her father in that she cannot hide her thoughts, however crude and pedantic they may be and that she and I dream ab out the same thing(s).  As an aside, Layla moves sooooo much while she sleeps and while she is in the process of waking up!  How do you sleep and wiggle that much?

But anyway, I enjoyed just watching her and as the Counting Crows sang…I love to watch her sleeping.  She makes these cute faces  and motions and certain noises (recliners, tortilla chip bags, and squeaks) make her jerk to attention and she throws her arms out straight like a cross between an airborne Tarzan between vines and a Gangsta posing for a picture.  Somewhere along the way my little girl finds time to make faces that give away her thoughts.  First she scrunches (is that a word?) her forehead and chin…then her chin quivers and her lips purse just before her jaw starts opening and closing.  Yes, like her father, Layla dreams about boobs.  I mean, that has to be it.  What else is there in her little world?  Her vision is about 20/400 and she only sees blurs up to 12 inches away.  The rest is just contrasts in light and shadow (she loves staring at the Christmas tree).  Other than me bugging the fire out of her while she’s trying to sleep, all she probably knows intimately is…boobs.  I tells yah…that’s got to be what’s she dreaming about.  So my kid falls under the category of “All Day I Dream About Boobs”.

I guess that will change someday.  It will probably transform to shoes and clothes…shopping and Daddy’s credit card until it eventually goes to fashion and looking “cool” or whatever the hip phrase is at the time.  Then it will cross that threshold out of Daddy’s comfort zone when she starts dreaming about boys.  Geez!  I’m not ready for that.  I wonder what kind of teen dream schmuck will be the talentless hack of the moment.  Oh well, I guess I could look at my credit card statement and find out soon enough.  I’m in no rush.  I just want to keep watching her sleep.

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