Posted by: toddzilla | December 5, 2007

Pregnancy Unplugged

Prepare yourself, my dear reader, for a trek into the nonglamorous glamourless anti-glamorous unglamorous (?) world of frank pregnancy discussions.  It has been an adopted theme of this blog to tackle the hard issues of pregnancy that get glossed over in whatever TV series has a character giving birth during the season finale.  My aim is to not pull any punches and not to skirt around the lingo…so, here is a reader’s discretion warning.  The following post may have language and descriptions that certain squirmish viewers may find offensive, repulsive, and in poor taste.  So if the sight of words like mucous, blood, Duke football, Vagingia, Va-jay-jay, Virgina, Hoo-Ha, Pooh-nonny, or Vagina is offensive to you, please do not read any further.  With that in mind, click on the jump if you think you can handle it…

I apologize for taking so long between posts, but we have been a bit busy lately.  It all stepped up a bit Monday morning when my wife called to tell me that she lost her plug.  What in the world does that mean?  Well, the cervix during pregnancy may adequately (semi-adequately) be described as a balloon surrounding the baby with the open end down (of course or this would be an entirely different endeavor).  At the opening of the balloon, God saw fit to place a mucous plug (sounds charming doesn’t it?) to prevent germs, bacteria, car keys, etc. from entering the uterus.  When labor begins and the cervix (uterine opening) starts to dilate (open), the plug loosens and may discharge from the va-jay-jay in what is called the (be warned!!!!) “bloody show”.  Either an Englishman who is enthralled by mucous named this or it was some doctor who wants to frickin’ scare the bejeezus out of a prospective father.  Who wants to hear that their pregnant wife had her “bloody show”?!?  Well, Cheryl’s plug moved out Monday morning and it has been fun ever since.

Here it is now…Wednesday morning and my wife is at home now…having contractions that were as close as 7 minutes apart and are now about 15 to 20 minutes apart.  I’m at work writing this (don’t tell anyone) and I’m waiting and trying to decide what the heck to do.  I guess I will wait until they get closer together and last a bit longer then hop in the ‘Zilla-mobile and head to the house.

So, here I am…waiting for Peanut and feeling for my wife whose grimaced face sent me off to work at 7:00 this morning.  Before I left, she and I were cruising the pregnancy books trying to figure out if this was false labor or early labor (the one where the cervix repositions and “undulates” (what a cool word) to soften itself for the upcoming “pass-through”.  We watched her stomach tighten and this big off-center lump pop up with each face-contorting contraction which would last about 30 seconds then ease.  The bump would go down and be followed by some pretty voracious movements from Junior (poor guy…his or her roof is tightening on his or her head).  I guess I’ll wait and see what happens, but man, it’s hard to patient!

 As always, thanks for keeping up with us!

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Responses

  1. Sounds like Todd is going to be a daddy before the end of the semester. Go home, man. Get out of work.

  2. Today is my birthday, so I am feeling like today is the day! I mean who wouldn’t want to share a birthday with me:)

  3. You sound like you will be be daddy very soon!!! i am so looking forward to seeing pictures

  4. Good luck man. Enjoy it all and be prepared for your world to be rocked (in a good way!!!!)


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