Posted by: toddzilla | November 13, 2007

Getting ready but there is one thing left undone

Well folks, it’s getting close for us here at casa de Toddzilla.  We are in the home stretch with less than a month to go before our expected due date.  I have spent the week reading car seat manuals (a LOT of BOLD text WARNINGS in those things).  With a few adjustments, maybe I can get the carseats installed properly and, hopefully, they will never be used for anything other than a carrier and place for Junior to ride and sleep.  I have read up on proper sleeping and sleep gear (nothing cute and fuzzy or exceptionally soft) and I pray that Junior’s sleeping is safe.  I have charged the baby monitor and even snuck it down the steps and told Cheryl (while she was sitting downstairs), in my best god-like voice that “It’s time for pizza!” and that I wanted her to “build an ark…80 cubits by 80 cubits”.  It’s great ripping off old Bill Cosby bits.  Word of wisdom to future parents…don’t turn on the baby monitor receiver in the same room as the transmitter because it sounds like Hendrix at the Monterey Pops festival with all that feedback.

The next big step…packing the overnight bag for Cheryl.  Oh boy…What to bring, what to bring?  The main requirement we were told was to bring something that allowed access…access to the boobs!  Oh and yeah!  I’m all for that!  Oh wait, that’s not boob-access for me?  Oh…

What’s the one thin left undone you may be asking yourself ( you great and wise readership you).  Well, I have been asked numerous times why I haven’t  written about the tubmarine.  Said tubmarine is in drydock due to drought conditions.  Toddzilla starts the day, washing the funk off with a shower and therefore extraneous bathtime for Toddo cannot occur until we get a little drought relief (I can’t tell the boss I was late because I was in the tub that morning playing with my Nautilus-class attack tubmarine).  I like to be a good citizen.  So, the tubmarine is in drydock until a full compliment of submariners can be volunteered (they have to be cute animals according to the pictures).  So all the intertub shipping lanes are safe…for now!  Soon the silent underwater tubmarine will stalk the bathroom shipping lanes to bring victory to the cute animal submariner cause.

We have been thoroughly blessed with gifts, advice, and support!  I have thusly realized two things…We are likewise blessed with many loved ones!!!  AND…manufacturers need to make some of this baby stuff in adult sizes!  My wife needs PJs with footies!  Not just some ol’ union suit, but jammers with footies!  It would help if said jammers were super ultrafuzzy like the kiddie’s PJs.  Cheryl’s blood must not carry heat or something because she can shiver when its 75 degrees.  So, she would benefit greatly from attached booties and I would enjoy the ultra fuzziness.  We also need swings and bouncy seats in adult sizes.  Man…If I could chill in a swing while I watch the game…oh yeah!  That would be the life…the napping life. “To be a kiiiiiiiing…a-forrrrrr a day!!!!!”.  What else would I enjoy having in adult sizes?  Those foldout plastic placemats (I could just pig out and hose the placemat off), tubmarine (have I mentioned this one before?), bibs, and fuzzy hooded towels (how cool would it be to put a ducky-headed hooded towel on after a shower and run around the house like some sort of cross-bred ducky-superman?  That would give the workday a new hint of excitement).

We had a doctor’s appointment Friday and everything is going great!  Cheryl’s belly is measuring what it should and Junior’s heartbeat is strong and regular (around 120 to 130 bpm-that’s boy range!)  I was stuck on the working end of a vaginal-exam…oh boy!  That tool-thing looked like a cross between a bicycle brake and an ice cream scoop.  I’m glad I’m a man!  That’s about it for the latest here thanks for reading!

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