Posted by: toddzilla | June 1, 2007

The ‘lil William Tell Overture

Well, today was our second doctor’s appointment for Ma and Junior (and I tagged along as the “peanut gallery”).  Now, for my squeamish or easily offended readers, you may want to turn your head for a good bit of this post.  Since the ol’ blog is now supposed to represent pregnancy from a man’s point of view well dag-gummit that’s what I’m gonna do.  So with that in mind here’s my take on my Mr. Roger’s-esque field trip to the OB/GYN (at the risk of embarassing my wife, but hey, she knew that was part of the deal when she succumbed to the sexiness that is Toddzilla).  I’m not a total idiot.  I knew there was gonna be some OB/GYN-ing going on and I had heard the lingo and I kinda figured something was up when the gown they asked Cheryl to put on didn’t come down past her waist.  But man!  You gals do that once a year?  Oh my!  I’m glad I’m a man…that’s the moral of this story.  The doc pulled out a drawer from the “half” table that looked like it was full of lawnmower parts and…well, let’s just say that I’m glad the sheet obscured my view from the sidelines.  Oh my poor wife.  She’s a trooper as are all you ladies out there.

So back to the good stuff!  Doc pulled out what looked like a Nixon-era tape recorder from her coat (complete with Congressional Committee microphone) and put it to Cheryl’s stomach.  Man, did it sound windy in there!  That poor kid!  I hope he has a windbreaker or something.  Anyway, Doc found Cheryl’s heartbeat, which is good because Cheryl was watching the whole time and I didn’t want her to be surprised by not having a heartbeat and all.  Then there was some more wind and I heard a horse at full gallop.  Doc told us that was Junior’s heart beat!  Wow!  That fast and somewhat sporadic.  It reminded me of that scene from the Disney short about the Legend of Sleepy Hollow where Ichabod Crane is trying to outrun the Horseman and his hoofbeats rattle the covered bridge.  Well, that and the William Tell Overture.

I admit it was wonderful.  I was a bit nervous as I imagine I will be for the next few months rest of my life.  I was hoping that we would be able to hear the heartbeat and sure enough, we did and it was loud and strong!  Doc approved and that always helps.

So, thanks for the good news Lord!  For your hand in all this oh Great Physician.  Thanks Doc for being so encouraging and thanks Cheryl for being such a trooper!  Sorry for doing this to you, but you asked for it!  Oh yeah, thanks to the nurse for turning the air-conditioner off for my body-heat impaired wife and for selling me the ticket to a seat that was slightly beside the fifty yard-line so that I had some sheet obscuring my view…whew!  I’ve never been so thankful for a bad seat in all my life.

I’m glad I’m a man…did I say that already?

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Responses

  1. The lawnmower drawer of parts is merely a warm up for the real action are the end of this whole deal. You will be praying to God for that robe that protected you in the OB’s office when it comes delivery time…

  2. I’m scared and I’m not even pregnant.


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