Posted by: toddzilla | May 30, 2007

The First Trimester in so many words

I know all of my faithful readers are sitting on the edge of their seats waiting for the latest update on our pregnancy.  Wait no more!  Here’s a bit of an update to bring you up on what’s been happening (I’ve had to save all this stuff while we were in the “super-secret” first several weeks).  In an homage (pronounced O-mage if you’re all fancy-pantsy) to my personal favorite thespian, Clint Eastwood and the directorial and musical talents of Mr. Sergio Leone and Mr. Ennio Morricone respectively, I will breakdown the first trimester all spaghetti western-like:

The Good: Bedtime and Todd-Time: Cheryl is tired all the time and that means she’s in the bed by 9:00…that also signals the start of Todd-time…where Todd has free reign over the TV (hello History Channel, MLB, college softball, and Cops!) or the couch for reading time (yes, I can read…I couldn’t really blog if I couldn’t read could I?).  So, I am reveling in the Peninsular campaign adventures of one Captain Richard Sharpe and the Napoleonic-era naval adventures of Horatio Hornblower (I love the books, but it’s kinda embarassing when somebody asks what I’m reading and I have to say Horatio Hornblower).

The Bad: My poor wife has been nauseous pretty much 24/7 except right after she eats.  It’s almost heartbreaking to see her slumped over on the couch with that sad expression on her face.  With all this, my role in life is a “go-getter”…whatever she needs, I go-get it.  Personally, I think I do an okay job as a go-getter, but sometimes Cheryl’s timing hinders my enthusiasm for the job.  I love her and she’s the mother of my child, but I wish she could ask for toast before I close the bread bag!  But I guess that offsets me standing by the bathroom door in the morning, while she’s hugging the porcelain god, and I’m eating a bagel and drinking coffee asking her if there’s anything I can do for her (luckily she has fairly short hair so I don’t have to hold it…Score!).  We did have the first instance of jeans not fitting this morning, but they were her “small” pair, so it’s all good…so far.  Emotional distress may occur when the other jeans start to get too tight.  Then Todd will have to develop a keen ability to soothe her verbally (I’m still working on that skill).

The Ugly: The other extreme change in the household is the fact that my wife has gained the sense of smell of a bloodhound and cannot stand my breath anymore.  Well, my morning, coffee breath.  she loved coffee pre-preggers, but now, it makes her wretch.  Of course that and the whole “cut down on caffeine” thing makes me the King of the Kof-fay Kan!  Todd gets all the cof-fay and that’s the way it should be.  It’s also great for the budget because she can’t buy all those $10 coffee drinks, so I guess it’s not all bad err…ugly.  Before you ask, yes…my morning coffee breath is ugly.  We had our first food-craving a couple of weeks ago…Lucky Charms…why is this in the “Ugly” category?  Well, Cheryl called me on her way home to ask me to pick up some Lucky Charms from the grocery store…when she would be passing a few of them on her way home.  Now me and a grocery store do not mix very well.  I cannot attain the usual efficiency with which I run my life…in a grocery store.  I had to search the whole store over twice just find crackers one time.  The other reason that her food cravings have made the “ugly” column is her obsession with corn on the cob.  I hate corn…can’t stand it…but now she’s feenin’ for it.  I awoke very early one monring with her squirming a bit and I asked her if she was doing okay.  She told me she was dreaming about…corn on the cob.  Practically lusting for it.  So now, her list of weaknesses/threats to our marriage grows to “firemen” and “corn on the cob”.  I’m more worried about the corn.  I may be able to out-mack firemen, but corn…I’m weak against it.

So that’s it for now….stay tuned!



  1. One of my saddest moments in my pregnancy with Logan was when my “big” jeans didn’t fit anymore. The shift to maternity clothes can be somewhat sad. Just remember, Cheryl ALWAYS looks great and it is your job to tell her!

  2. I can never find chocolate syrup – if I worked at Hershey I’d be lobbying for “Chocolate Syrup” on one of those grocery store isle labels. You’d think it would be near the Maple syrup, but no, I always have to ask.

    Maybe Saltines and Hershey can team up and help us out.

  3. Yes! They need one of those “You Are Here” maps like malls have. They could put a couple of them at certain aisles with detailed lists of what’s in each aisle. Just pray that you’re never sent to the grocery store for bread crumbs! Are they with the bread? NO!

  4. Todd, what a long time pregnancy will be for you both. That is good (as you get closer the thought of actually having to parent a child will terrify you) and bad (pregnancy is nothing right now, trust me). So here are some by trimester bits of advice.

    1st Trimester – Do what ever it takes to make her feel better. This especially involves food. If she doesn’t pack little snacks for long road trips. By long road trips I mean anything that involves the car, that includes the walk to the car. No longer by anything low-fat, made by South Beach or generic. Hit her up with the good stuff, premium ice cream, the most expensive cookies they make, corn on the Cob from Iowa, or MD or Minnesota (Where ever we decided it came from) and just get out of her way. Foot rubs are also helpful at this stage.

    2nd Trimester – Hopefully the nausea will begin to lessen. Strangely for many women this is when they begin to have romantic feelings once again. Supposed to be even stronger if there is a little Toddzilla in there. If there is look out, because some of your testosterone will send her over the edge. This is a strange roller coaster after the months of nausea, but it is decidedly more enjoyable.

    3rd Trimester – Your wife will make a comment about every 1.6 seconds about how big she is. Never ever agree with her. Tell her how beautiful she is, and how she will be back in those jeans two weeks after the baby is born. Tell her how other women wished they looked as good as she does pregnant even though they aren’t. Don’t make her stand up or move unless she wants to. This is when your life as a go-getter (grocery store an all) will really begin.

    I am excited for you guys, and always here to offer advice that most likely won’t help you at all.

  5. I don’t remember the second trimester like that, Greg!

  6. Uh-oh! Maybe that last post wasn’t entirely GB-approved!

    But now I have something to look forward to…c’mon second trimester!

  7. Alas, like I said, for some women the 2nd Trimester stirs such feelings and urges. For others…. I will just be quiet now.

  8. It’s interesting to read about pregnancy from a man’s point of view! Todd, you should check out the “baby daddy” blog on–I think you’d appreciate his take on what it’s like when the baby’s here. My advice: keep supporting Cheryl and doing what she asks, and DO NOT develop any sympathtic pregnancy symptoms–that’s just plain annoying.

  9. Thanks so much all of you for the support and the great comments!

    Okay Aimee…I am intrigued. You HAVE to explain why I shouldn’t develop sympathy symptoms. So I shouldn’t crave stuff or get nauseous? That is such an interesting point.

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