Posted by: toddzilla | May 1, 2007

I’m Here to Help…You Get Ya’ Mack On

It’s easy to tell that it’s Springtime because this is my second consecutive “sexy” post…Giggity-Giggity.  WordPress has a neat feature that lets you see what search terms were typed in that led to someone checking out the blog.  Well, I noted one from yesterday where someone typed in “sexy things to say” and they, of course, were directed to Toddzilla.  So, in hoping that the individual in question keeps coming back…I will help a brother out.  Not knowing said individual’s gender, I will offer up a few “sexy things to say” for both genders.

Sexy things for a man to say:

Hey Boo, you know that the 2oth Anniversary re-release of Dirty Dancing is this week…wanna go? (I know it’s the ultimate in desperation and that you guys probably just threw up in your mouth a little, but it’s the price we pay).

Gir-uhl…did you get a new haircut?  (Say this to someone you know well and see regularly).  Girlies feed off of compliments (like vultures feed off of dead flesh…yes they actually compete for compliments).  You don’t have to notice the exact differences in their haircut…just that they got a new hairstyle.  This also works for glasses, jewelry, and shoes.  Don’t go out of the way and actually say what you like about it, because you may talk yourself into a corner.  Keep it simple.

I thought about you today when I saw…(insert cute thing or sentimental thing here).  This works well if said sentimental thing is a throwback to a particular event in your relationship as in “…when I saw a lil’ squirrel climbing a tree just like when we were walking in the park that day…so on so on”.  DO NOT under any circumstance follow this statement with thing that can be construed as fat or old.  Just a warning.

Are those outer space pants you’re wearing…cuz’ your butt looks outta this world…Hollah!  This is self-explanatory.

Sexy things for girls to say:

Here, you can have the remote.  Oh yeah!  Time for some “Cops” and belly-scratchin’

Can I get you something while I’m up?  Oh and yes!  “Cops” goes great with ice cream and/or chips and salsa.

You know…Linda Carter has nice blue eyes.  The better to “peep” me with!  Suh-weet!  What’s up Linda Carter…Why don’t you put that heavy ol’ Lasso of Truth down for a sec?

What do you want for dinner tonight?  Tacos son!  Ta-ah-ah-cos!  Or fajitas…

There it is, a quick list of some mighty sexy things to say to the one you love!  Of course, drop me some of your ideas in the comments.

Advertisements

Responses

  1. Todd,

    I have no words!

  2. What?…no input on “sexy things to say”? I’m a bit disappointed.

  3. So complementing the butt works, eh? Didn’t know that.

  4. Shannon-The butt compliment is all about timing. Time it right my friend…and drop the boot-tay compliment then wait for the coy smile! The sign of success!

  5. Wow, I am astounded by the latest round of posts. When you bring it on, you bring it with some serious sauce! I wanted to post on the sounds of sexy post, but my spam blocker wouldn’t let me! How about that.

    Sexy things to say to a woman:

    I know people think you look like _____ (insert beautiful famous woman here) but I think you are much sexier.

    I know those are $200 dollar jeans, but on you they are priceless

    Sexy songs –

    John Mayer – Wonderland

    Bruce Springsteen – Secret Garden

    Bob Dylan – Shelter from the Storm

    Chris Isaac – (brother’s got it working) Baby did a bad bad thing, Wicked Games

    U2 – Even better than the real thing

    For Shannon – complimenting the butt only works when you are in a relationship and you don’t sound like a stalker when you say it. It is all in the delivery. That is a level 5 mack move, attempt with great caution.

    Another great mack move, using the best friend. Girls tell each other everything. Talk to the best friend, drop cryptic but leading comments about your interest and appreciate of the girl you are interested in. They will be reported back to best friend within seconds and prime the pump for any macking you are planning later. She already knows you are interested, and if she is too, then you have to work far less later on.

  6. Greg-Nice $200 jean reset! That comment is GB approved!

    I know people say you look like Janet Reno, but gir-uhl, you so much sexier! Would that work?

    Thanks for the Rock songs…I would have to listen to “Shelter From the Storm” (it’s been a while), I just can’t see Dylan’s voice as sexy…Chris Isaak! Now that’s some freaky-sexy stuff!

    I guess one could consider some Five for Fighting and Maroon 5?

  7. See, I’m no where ready for Level 5 macking. I think I’m in Level 2 macking which is still passing a note in homeroom with the classic “Do you like me, check yes or no?”

  8. And yes Chris Isaac rocks the World of Mack

  9. Another mack move, creativity on dates. Anyone can find a dinner and a movie. But, can you take that to the next level. Can you come up with dating ideas that are original. How about some of these moves from the archive. I can remember being on a 1st date in high school and we were in fact eating dinner and then going to a movie, but we had over an hour to kill in between them. So we went to the grocery store and armed ourselves with $10 to find some fun. Snacks, coloring books, crayons and a deck of cards later we were rocking. We had so much fun I don’t remember if we made it to the movie on time or not. I am also a big fan of the adventure drive. Get in the car and just go. Even if you spend hours driving around the same town, it can be a great way to get to know a girl. People talk freely in cars because they don’t have to look the other person in the eyes. An adventure drive can lead to unexpected fun.

    As a youth pastor, however, I must recommend against the adventure drive for my high school friends. Remember friends nothing good happens after midnight, in a car that isn’t moving, or if it starts with a backrub. Sorry had to put the pastor hat on.

  10. I too am a big fan of the get in the car and drive method of dates. Activity dates also work.

  11. Greg-Excellent point! A good date is a memorable date…at least one that is memorable for the right reasons and not because you can fart the alphabet or whatever. That’s also a great observation about the car conversations and how no eye contact helps ease tension.

    Yes, I thought a bout a disclaimer for “Sexy Week” in case some minors were unfortunate enough to stumble onto this blog…remember to leave room for Jesus! No adventure drives, backrubs, white t-shirts and water, Luthor Vandross, slow-motion montages, wheatfields, waterfalls, or anything that makes you go MMM.

    Yes, nothing good happens after midnight…especially if Pacman Jones is around!

  12. I’m proof positive that some good things can happen when you fart on a date.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: