Posted by: toddzilla | April 27, 2007

News Roundup (Trashy Entertainment Rag-Style) Yee-Haw!

The mood is subdued here in Toddzilla-world because as a servant to my readers…I have failed…I have posted once(?) in like 5 weeks!?  This is unacceptable.  The world of politics has been abuzz, but I tend to soapbox too easily, so I have tried to distance myself from that.  But a few things have been making the news here lately…I will give it a go to try to earn my readership’s confidence back.  Here’s a (hopefully) brief news roundup!

Richard Gere! Gere, he of the silver hair and punishing movies is sought by the long arm of Indian law for kissing a Bollywood actress whose name I will not make the effort to look up here…Here’s to the hope…the intense hope that India practices capital punishment!  Please also tell me that, somehow, Julia Roberts can be found complicit in the actions and that the U.S. willingly agrees to the extradition.

Rosie-You heard it here last…Rosie O’ Donnell left The View thereby improving the view (note the lack of capitalization on the second “the view”…that’s a joke son…(A highbrow e.e. cummings-esque joke!).  You did hear this here first though…Rosie didn’t leave due to cash issues, she’s trying to parlay her rants into her own daytime show.  Mark my words!

Take my wife please!-It’s the 2oth anniversary of Dirty Dancing and they are re-releasing it in theaters!  Killing me softly indeed!  Of course, as with all things mentally painful…my wife wants to go see it.  Somebody…please take her!  Somebody please volunteer to go with her.  Save my eyes!

NFL Draft-That’s right!  It’s draft time.  America is so desperate for NFL action that they are actually willing to watch this (myself included) and even speculate on it.  Even though I must admit I knew last year…that I must must draft Laurence Maroney for my fantasy football team!  I did not come to fruition though, but thank goodness for Stephen Jackson!  The question that must be answered this year…Can Detroit start wide receivers on their offensive line?  Also, what second round pick can Buffalo pick in the first round?

They paid $300 million for this???-My Cubs are in a familiar place this year…and they paid $300 million to get there.  Is it Northside Chicago?  No, it’s last place in the NL Central.  It’s not springtime unless Kerry Wood and/or Mark Prior are on the DL and it’s not a big-time Cubs signing unless there’s and injurty within 5 games of the ink drying (a la Alfonso Soriano and Derrek Lee).

 AFM?-According to

There has been arrests made of members of the Alabama Free Militia…Apparently they had a “beef” with the U.S. Government and decided to “stockpile munitions”.  The nice and thoughtful touch in this whole matter is the fact that the leader of said “Free Militia” painted his camper camouflage…No wonder it took authorities so long to bust up this ring…they couldn’t find the trailer.  How did this guy have his mail delivered?  How did he find the place after a hard day of work?  I have trouble finding my keys at night to open the door sometimes.  I imagine it is infinitely more difficult if you can’t find the house either!

That’s it gentle readers…that’s my attempt at stupid sarcasm and witty current events commentary…enjoy!



  1. On Richard Gere, the lady he kissed was Shilpa Shetty. I looked it up, so you didn’t have to.

    Rosie – I doubt she gets another daytime show, but I wouldn’t be surprised, mainly because she’s a ratings and media attention draw. I would suspect that she may get back into acting. I heard that somewhere.

    Take your wife to see Dirty Dancing, no thanks. My ex-wife was big on that movie as well. Granted, it’s ok. I’ll watch it if there is nothing else on and it’s raining like cats and dogs outside and I don’t feel like the following: reading, eating, sleeping, annoying people, calling friends or family, talking on the internet, reading the internet, playing PlayStation 2, or doing laundry. So, it must be a really boring day for me to watch it. Sorry, Todd. You’ll have to take this one for the Team of Married Men.

    NFL Draft – When the 49ers drafted Alex Smith, I went out to watch. This year, I’m not sure what to expect, though I predict Ted Ginn, Jr., just to make ESPN nervous. I’ll watch for a little bit and then cuddle up next to you at the Bulls game. Kidding on the cuddling.

    AFM – A camouflage trailer in Alabama. Who knew?

  2. Re-releasing Dirty Dancing? Scha-weeeeeeeeeeeetttt! Cheryl I’ll go with you!!!

  3. Liz…You RAWK!!!!!! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!

  4. Dirty Dancing? Count me in.

  5. You poor souls. Todd, I propose an alternative Guy’s Night Out that day to watch another 1980s classic – Platoon.

  6. I want to see Dirty Dancing too… only one of the classics that all women love to watch over and over. I’m so excited! Thanks, Todd, for coordinating this girls’ movie outing.

  7. That is my sole purpose for being…to make the ladies happy ohhh yeah! Giggity Giggity!

    I have planted the seed, now I want all of you ladies to corral your planning skills and put together a movie night to see that stinkbomb of a waste of celluloid…that way I can stay home and crank up a Clint Eastwod western or a Cops marathon. Giggity…and Giggity!

  8. Alright, I do not check this everyday. However, you should take your wife to Dirty Dancin’. I believe she has seen some BAD movies with you and for some reason I keep thinking about a big yellow sponge…

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