Posted by: toddzilla | March 15, 2007

Slicker’n Snot on a Doorknob…

Well, that’s what some of us Southerners would call it…It could be referred to as duplicitous, unscrupulous, shady, crafty, pernicious, etc. etc.  What am I talking about you may ask?  Like, I’ve never been asked that before!  Allow me to elaborate.  I am a bit of a baseball cap afficionado.  I love collecting baseball caps and all the history behind them.  it’s not just baseball caps in the literal sense, but hats of the “baseball” style for professional teams and college teams.  There are two things I look for in a baseball hat, Old English lettering (Detroit Tigers) and intertwined letters (LA Dodgers).  If I find those kinds of hats that aren’t for a team I hate (NY Yankees), then I try to purchase them.  Of course, as is the case with most of the impulse things that I do (and there are many), I have to think ahead (this is the shady part) and develop a reason (read “excuse”) for my impulse actions.

For example, when I bought my XBOX, I did it all clandestine-like.  Wife at work? Check.  Funds in bank? Check.  Vehicle fueled? Check.  Begin Operation “Halo-Get” with a vehicular insertion into the local Best Buy…Anyway,  bought the XBOX and brought it home and promptly called my wife (all of you single guys reading this may cringe, but its a guilt thing and you too will know its sting sometime).  Bless her heart (another quaint Southern saying), she sighed and asked me why I bought it without consulting her and I told her that I thought about calling her at the store, but I didn’t…When asked why, I explained that I knew she would say no.  Clearly, not a well-thought out plan.

Anyway back to the hats.  So, I’m cruising and I see this awesome Texas Christian hat with an interlocked “T” and wishbone “C” and a sweet Horned Toad on the back!  Impulse kicks in and the rusty spark plug in my head starts to fire and BANG!  I’ve developed the primo excuse.  I purchase said hat and tell my wife that evening that I have a present for her!  She gets all excited and I tell her I got a hat!  She stops…looks at me as her shoulders droop and asks “for me?”  Well no, its for me…and you…kinda.  So I explain the hat and she asks if I even like TCU and I tell her no, but its a chance for me to express my love for her because its not a TCU hat to me…The “T” and “C” stand for “Todd” and “Cheryl”!  She bought it!  But you know…it is true.  I know next to nothing of TCU’s athletic accomplishments aside from the fact that LDT was their RB.  But now, when I wear the hat, all I think about is the “Todd” and “Cheryl” “T” and “C”.  Of course, my house in Eastside Burlington (B-Town) was in the “Town and Country” division and we always called it the “T & C”….Hmmm…Two birds, one stone!  This keeps getting better and better!

Well played, huh?  I also bought a University of Montana hat because of the intertwined “U” and “M”.  I promptly explained that it was buy one get one half off and the “U” and “M” stood for “U” and “Me”!  That one didn’t go over nearly as smoothly.

 Well, my grand goal is to collect hats for every letter of the alphabet with a single letter on each hat.  I’m having trouble thinking of a “Q” and a “Z” hat.  “X” is covered with Xavier.  Well, anyway if you dig uniform history and minutia and lotsa pictures as much as I do check out a regular ESPN Page 2 Uni-Watch feature here:

and Lukas’ blog here:

While you’re at it…drop a comment and let me know what excuses you’ve used to justify something impulsive and please no “the glove doesn’t fit, so you must acquit” stuff!  I don’t want to hear anything that I will be morally and civically compelled to report to authorities.  What the hey…tell me some of your favorite baseball hat designs too!



  1. My truck was purchased under the guise that I needed something to haul things around (mainly my junk when I move) so that I didn’t have to rent a truck or bug my brother. Good and accurate excuse, but I just wanted the truck. It’s been put to good use since.

  2. After Moore’s house burned down I helped him get a PS2 with the reasoning that it was a replacement for their DVD player too! (Which turned out it still worked even after the fire – oh well) Molly still went for it.


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