Posted by: toddzilla | February 27, 2007

SCANDAL at the house…gray socks and Grey’s Anatomy

Let me preface this post by saying that, despite all the goofiness that I may write about here on the ol’ blog, my wife and I have a wonderful relationship full of close times and lots of fun being each other’s best friend.  This shows in all the small things that we do, but those small things don’t draw blog traffic like the goofy differences of opinions that we do have (though rare in comparison to the things that we have in common).  My wife is absolutely and unabashedly the BEST thing that has ever happened to me and all of the gripes that I write about are my petty attempts at creating blog traffic to coax my fragile, attention-seeking ego…so…with that in mind, here’s the latest scandal to rock the household.

While walking through the bathroom this weekend (Cheryl was out of town), I noticed a pair of my gray socks in the trashcan.  Cheryl had been pleading with me to throw them out because they had a hole or two in the heel (what I like to refer to as “being comfortable”).  Being the smart-alec that I am, I pulled them out and put them in the laundry.  Last night, when folding the laundry (admittedly, one of the few times I touch the laundry), I casually mentioned about how I found my socks in the trash and I said something to the effect of “you can’t hustle a hustler”.  For some reason, Cheryl was practically aghast at the fact that I had pulled the socks out of the trash (thereby, I’m sure,  foiling her dastardly plan to hinder my comfort and obviously break my will power and resistance to the feminine agenda).  Needless to say, the rest of the evening was spent with me needling her about throwing stuff away.  I carried the laundry upstairs to keep her from “throwing it away”, I asked her to put my watch on the dresser, but then I pulled it back and said “nevermind…I don’t want you throwing it away”.  You know…basic “jerky” things.  Like I said, she is a saint, so she put up with it all and even joked back.  When I asked if I needed to watch my diploma to make sure she doesn’t throw it away, she quipped back that she might as well toss it out because I don’t use it anyway…Hey-yo!  That was a zinger.

So I got to thinking (and my head hurts) what would I throw away of hers (as if I would ever consider doing such a thing without her knowing it)…I know that I technically can’t throw “it” away but, I can’t decide between Grey’s Anatomy or Oprah…I’m leaning towards Grey’s Anatomy because she watches it more due to its timeslot.  Combine that with the fact that Cheryl works with children and absolutely loves kids.  Well, every week on Grey’s Anatomy there is a kid or a pregnant lady that dies in some horrendous way and Cheryl watches the show and practically bawls.  I just don’t understand why women torture themselves that way…But then again, I choose to watch NCSU games…But anyway, If I could, I would throw away Grey’s Anatomy…either that or the Hallmark snowmen carolers that dance and sing “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” when you press a button (I know what you’re thinking…and no, we don’t keep them on the table year-round.  They are currently residing in a storage bin in the garage…hhhhmmm perfect situation for a covert snatch-and-grab operation…they wouldn’t be missed for months!  I love being clandestine!  Doesn’t that sound like some of the Israelites enemies in the Holy Land?  Can’t you just see David following his victory over Goliath and the Philistines by sweeping the Clandestites from their homeland of Clandestine?  Or perhaps an epistle of Paul to the Church at Clandestine?).

Well, in the interest of controversy, tell me something that belongs to your partner that you, if given the chance to be clandestine would throw away…



  1. When I was married, my ex-wife used to collect My Little Ponies. I wish I was making this up. She would go on eBay and purchase these little toys and have hundreds all over the apartment/house. She would then get paint, and fake hair to fix the ones that had “issues.” Some, I will admit were worth money, others were just a waste of money. I never could understand spending $20 to $30 on one of those things.

  2. I wouldn’t throw away a thing, I love everything my wife has and does. (Especially since she reads this blog regularly!)

  3. Come on Greg… even Gretchen doesn’t believe that!

    As you all know… I did the evil deed of trying to better my husband’s appearance. I can’t help it that his feet are so stanky that they burn holes into his socks. I can’t imagine them being comfortable anymore.. I would think my feet would stick to my shoes.
    But anyways…. I do love Todd, but if I had to pick something to throw away (besides holy socks that really do need to be tossed), I’d have to pick… gee I just sat here for a few minutes and couldn’t think of anything :). I love everything he has too… well, maybe not the spongebob trick or treat pail, maybe not the large collection of guitars, maybe not the box of old magazines….
    I guess I could think of something!

  4. NOOOOOOOO!!!! Not my Spongebob pail!

    stanky(?)…I prefer “funky”…

  5. Greg isn’t even in trouble and he writes nice things about me. 🙂
    I actually love to throw things away. I do have to go through Greg’s things and throw out T-shirts and socks with holes! They get quite disgusting and he still wears them ! I do this with Sophie too. When she isn’t in the house, I go through a toss all the crappy fast food toys. What a terrible mother!

  6. Whoah, the crappy fast food toys were some of the best toys. I think half our lego collection came from McDonald’s.

  7. Yeah, I have to agree…That’s kind of wrong to toss the Mac-D toys…Give them to me instead! They would look great on our mantle! Do you have an extra “Waffle” toy from Catscratch laying around? Was that McDonald’s or Burger Kang? Oh well…

  8. hummm what would i throw away??? shay has this ridiculous toy piano……..its usless and he got it as an adult oddly enough……….its deffinitly a dust collector and a space waster……..does anyone need it……sophie perhaps????? its just her size!

  9. You mean like one of those pianos from like the Peanuts?

  10. I think I can retire from blogging now…I have achieved my goal of getting Cathy to post!!! I have prompted the self-proclaimed lurker to post! My work is done…maybe.

    I was going to ask if Cathy laid back on the piano while Shay banged out some Beethoven-Schroeder and Lucy style…how sweet! And you want to throw that all away!?! Is nothing sacred? Wasn’t Pigpen playing guitar in that scene from the Christmas special? Apparently I would make a good Pigpen, what with my holy socks and all…

  11. I threw out the ridiculous Sponge Bob boxer shorts that my mother bought my husband. One of my kids retrived them from the trash, but I got them the next time they hit the laundry room. I bagged the trash and took it outside to the can myself. Bye. Bye. Those babies were NOT a turn on. Good riddens.

  12. Mags-Oh my! You waited for laundry time, made the “pickup”, bagged them, and tossed them…Wow! Remind me to contact you if I ever need to get rid of a body! I can picture the opening scene from Goodfellas, but with Maggie pistol-whipping a tied-up set of poor Spongebob boxers. Just so you know, Spongebob was a “made-man” and his boy Patrick “the Butterknife” Starr is probably hot on your trail. Hpw many people did you disappoint with that one…let’s take a count here…Your dear mother, your husband, and at least one of your own children. When will this hurt stop!?! Think of the children!!!

  13. Don’t you throw away the Spongebob pail Cheryl!
    We gave that to him! That’s all he’ll have to remember us by!

  14. Christy-

    I know..I know…Some things just aren’t sacred anymore. Emblems of great friendships and wonderful memories. Tokens of appreciation…I guess I will wait until my time of relevance passes so that I too, can be thrown away like a trinket that doesn’t shine anymore…sniff

  15. It sounds like Todd needs to do the laundry from here on out just in case. However, I have to say I never thought a $1 Sponge Bob Pail would have so much value, if I had only known.

  16. There’s one special secret Sale link on Amazon:

    This is open every Friday and ONLY on Fridays!

    You can find very good discounts here, although some Fridays you can really get
    lucky and make off like an Amazon bandit – I´ve seen discounts there as low as 75%
    off sticker Price.

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