Posted by: toddzilla | January 26, 2007

Super Bowl Hype #1 Who’s the Best Team

Before predicting the winner of the big game you have to delve into the history of both teams and scientifically determine…which is the best.  Here is my undisputable, scientifical, analytical, redundantical analysis.

Category 1 History-Bears 1920 until now with 9 championships.  Colts-1984 till now with well, nothing. EDGE Bears

Category 2 QB-Bears-Rex Grossman….shiver. Colts-Peyton Manning. EDGE Colts

Category 3 Food-Bears Deep dish pizza, pasta, and heart attack inducing “sass-sage”.  Colts-Well their website boasts “Indianapolis Wings”.  Whah?  Buffalo doesn’t know enough to cook the best parts of the chicken so they eat the wings and then Indy rips this off?  EDGE Bears

Category 4 Cheerleaders-Bears-the “HoneyBears”

honeybears.jpg

Colts-Girls in chaps…

chaps.jpg

Uhhhh…EDGE Colts…and how!

Category 5 Nicknames-Bears Walter “Sweetness” Payton.  that’s it.  There is no better nickname in sports…EDGE Bears…no contest.

Category 6 Lore-Bears-Premier founding franchise of the NFL.  The Super Bowl Shuffle, “Da’ Bears”,  “Sweetness”, the “Fridge”…Colts-The Mayflower Incident.  EDGE Bears.

Category 7 Hometown-Bears-Chicago blues, food, Sears Tower, Chicago Museum of Art, Al Capone (negative), Union Stockyards…Indianapolis-Flatness, a circular highway bypass, and a dome (negative).  EDGE-Bears

That’s it so far…So we have Bears-5 Colts 2.  So far it looks like the Bears are a shoo-in to win!

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Responses

  1. I smell some Bears favoritism.

  2. Hey – Don’t diss my city. Indy has the race track – yes, a bit honky, but nonetheless world famous. They also have a Star Wars convention downtown – AWESOME AND VERY HIP. Oh, and the dome is about to be torn down – 2008 is the first year in our new stadium, retractable roof, beautiful, site of future Super Bowls. Indy has a famous Native American museum (Eiteljorg) and Broadripple (arts district and Monon Trail). Chicago has the Dan Ryan freeway (BIG NEGATIVE), while Indy’s circular highway bypass is part of “the Crossroads of America”, which we proudly boast as “the DRUG Crossroads of America”. Per my calculations, Indy is much cooler and of course they’re totally gonna beat Da Bears, because they have Peyton Manning, only the hottest most talented man in football. GO COLTS!
    GO COLTS!

  3. Wait a second Sarah, you lose points by calling the Brickyard honky. A.. Foyt would not approve.

  4. I meant A.J. Foyt.

  5. Why the descision to only evaluate the Colts on the Indianapolis history. They didn’t simply come into existence in 1984. They had championships and football legends long before they moved to Indianapolis. And now that they are back in the Super Bowl the curse of Irsay will hit them with the violence of Montezuma’s revenge when you decided hey I have never seen this Taco Vender before, but he is on the street corner in Durham so he must be good, and you say, “I’ll take two of the mystery meat tacos.” That being said, the Colts deserve the futility of the last 22 years for dogging B’ltmore but I am rooting for them anyways.

  6. Sarah-Yes Stars Wars conventions are VERY hip. So I’ve been told. Thanks for filling in a bit of Indy’s history…I admit, I am no expert on Indy. I totally forgot the Indy 5000…go figure, but I didn’t think you would want me to bring it up since Da’ Bears won it…in a big Bear bus.

    Greg-You and I both know that the Baltimore Colts ceased to be after the Mayflower incident. The Indy Colts are just another team that just happened to come into existence in 1984 from who knows where. Baltimore has its own rich history…Indy…not so much. So I don’t count their history among the storied halls of the Baltimore Colts.

    Shannon-Thanks for the A.J. Foyt note. I didn’t think that Indy was all that “Honky” but now my blog is official because I got a “honky” blast! Suh-weet!

  7. The Honky Tonk Man would be very proud.

    But if the Colts came from parts unknown that makes them like the Undertaker and I’m not scared that I made two pro wrestling references when talking about the Super Bowl.


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